Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids…

But then again, neither is the United States, apparently.

According to a study titled “The Best Countries for Raising Kids,” the U.S. doesn’t even crack the top 10. The top honor goes to Denmark, according to the U.S. News and World Report study, released Wednesday. Fellow Scandinavian countries Sweden and Norway are ranked two and three, with Canada and the Netherlands rounding out the top five. The U.S. appears way down the list at number 18.

To compile the list, researchers considered income equality, the public education system, the health care system and family friendliness, among other things. Apparently, the nation with none of those is Kazakhstan, a country in Central Asia. It comes in dead last.  And it’s the real Kazakhstan, not the insane fictional one in the “Borat” movie.

We need to step it up!