My wife Susie handles most of the decorations in our house during Christmas except for the lights outside. That’s my job. Do I love it? Not sure. I like the final result but the lights can be tedious as seen in “Christmas Vacation.”
Here is a humorous look at decorating your home this holiday season.
The Top Tips for Decorating Your Home for Christmas.
Instead of a Christmas tree, just stack up all the bourbon bottles you’ve emptied this year.
A vase made of hundreds of tiny candy canes is a great way to tell others, “I’m creative!” And also, “I’m very lonely.”
Since they’re pretty much legal everywhere now, leave Santa milk and EDIBLES.
Instead of throwing away burnt-out Christmas tree lights, stick them under your shirt for a pair of festive holiday nipples.
Don’t stress if you lack the space to display all your decorations. Nobody wants to visit your house anyway.
Build an entire North Pole playset using your empty Amazon Prime boxes.
Simple white lights are a great way to make your Christmas tree look like it’s yawning.
Eggnog and extension ladders don’t mix.
Leave signed consent forms under the mistletoe.
If you can only afford a small tree, make it look bigger by populating your home with dwarves.
Just keep it all packed away until NEXT Christmas, man.