Hey it’s Leslie Harris, and I have learned some really valuable lessons in the last couple of months, so valuable that I hope you’ll read all the way to the end of this post. As you may know, I lost 2 loved ones towards the end of last year.

The first thing you should know is that it is more than okay to talk about the person who died, even if I start crying. I want to talk about my loved one. I want you to tell me things you remember about them. I want to remember the good times, and it’s okay if I start crying. It’s okay if you start crying too. It’s all part of the process.

But while this shared experience is important for me, please also be aware of the fact that you sharing your experience is only helpful if it is about that specific person. Let me explain.

The last two parties where I shared about my young friend who was tragically killed in a car accident, every single other person in the room chimed in with their own horrific story of a young person who has recently died, or is dying. I understand that it comes from a place of compassion, a place of, “I know what you’re going through,” but it’s really awful for me to hear about all of these other tragic things.

So if you want to comfort me or anyone in times of loss, do not be afraid to talk about the person who died, but also do not chime in with your own story. Not only will it depress me more, but then it becomes about you. I see that I’ve done both of these things, and I will now be more equipped to support my loved ones when they lose someone close.

What advice do you have? Let me know in the comments