Source: YouTube

The roast of Tom Brady aired live on Netflix last night, and it was pretty wild.

There were jokes about Gisele nailing her jiu-jitsu instructor, Tom abandoning his kids to play football, the cheating scandals, Aaron Hernandez, Tom’s lack of black receivers, and so much more.

But only one joke went too far for Tom.  It was early on in the show . . . which ran for THREE HOURS.  “Roastmaster General” Jeff Ross made a crack about Tom asking Patriots owner Robert Kraft if he wanted a massage.

Brady actually got up and said into Ross’ ear, quote, “Don’t say that [crap] again.”  It definitely seemed like a serious moment.

PROFANITY WARNING:  You can see uncensored video here:

Kraft WAS in the audience, and he spoke toward the end of the night.  But he only said NICE stuff about Tom.

Other roasters included comedians Nikki Glaser and Tony Hinchcliffe . . . who both CRUSHED IT, plus Tom’s former teammates Randy MossJulian Edelman, and Rob Gronkowski . . . who was a little too “Gronk” for his own good.

There were a lot of jokes about Gronk’s intelligence, and he kind of proved them all right, frankly.

Oh, and Drew Bledsoe . . . the guy Brady replaced on his way to becoming the GOAT.  He had some great lines, like, quote, “I [effing] hate him,” and, “Tom’s favorite wine is, ‘Where’s the flag?!'”

Will Ferrell roasted Brady in character as Ron Burgundy.  He called Brady a BORING QB and, quote, “The master of the six-yard slant.”

(Careful)  He also got the whole crowd to say, quote, “Eli Manning made Tom Brady his bitch.”

Warning:  Here’s an uncensored clip:

Kim Kardashian hit the stage to a chorus of boos . . . and busted out some Caitlyn Jenner jokes. Kim said a relationship with Tom would never work out because, quote, “An ex-athlete, high cheekbones, silky hair . . . You remind me too much of my stepdad now.” She even took a jab at her own, late father.  Quote, “Honestly, it’s hard for me to watch people roast you.  But I think enough of my family members have helped defend former football players.”

Bill Belichick was surprisingly good, including a crack about Tide Pods being one of Gronk’s favorite foods.  Before the night ended, host Kevin Hart even got Bill to take a shot with Kraft.

Ben Affleck took the stage to trash keyboard warriors who criticize Brady and Peyton Manning made a surprise appearance, referring to Brady as a three-time Super Bowl LOSER.

Brady himself had some good cracks when he took the stage.  He said Kim Kardashian was nervous about being there, because it meant her husband was home with the kids.

He also said Kansas City Chiefs’ fans are 14-year-old girls, and asked Belichick how many rings he’s won since he left.

(One of the funniest parts of the whole roast was actually the OPENING, featuring Brady, Bledsoe and Belichick.

PROFANITY WARNING:  There’s an F-bomb in the video:

There’s a great rundown of the roast here, with a lot of the best jokes.