THIS JUST IN: USDA Issues Permit for Santa’s Reindeer to Enter the U.S.

‘Tis the season of joy, and we’ve got exciting news straight from the North Pole!

The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service (APHIS) has officially issued a transit permit to the one and only “Mr. S. Nicholas Claus,” the beloved distributor from Gifts and Good Cheer, Inc. This special permit ensures a smooth entry and exit for Santa and his reindeer into the United States.


“USDA is delighted to grant Mr. Claus and his reindeer a special permit to enter the United States, ensuring a seamless journey for the joy they bring each holiday season,” expressed Jenny Lester Moffitt, Under Secretary for Marketing and Regulatory Programs. “We extend a warm welcome to Mr. Claus and recognize the vital role of U.S. milk and cookies in fueling his festive flight.”

Before the reindeer embark on their magical journey, veterinary officials meticulously ensured they met all entry requirements. Dr. Rosemary Sifford, USDA’s Chief Veterinary Officer, reported, “At a recent inspection, the reindeer were found to be healthy and able to prance and paw with each hoof.”

And for those curious minds, it was noted that Rudolph, the most famous reindeer of all, has a minor physical anomaly. APHIS confirmed that Rudolph’s bright red nose, while distinctive, is perfectly normal for him and poses no concern.

The meticulous permitting process is in place to protect America’s livestock population, guaranteeing that only healthy animals enter the United States. As the reindeer touch down, port personnel will ensure a thorough cleaning and disinfection of the sleigh’s runners and underside, accompanied by a short visual inspection of the reindeer.

Mr. Claus, ever the responsible traveler, has agreed to disinfect his boots and wash his hands, ensuring an extra layer of protection against potential livestock diseases encountered during his global deliveries.

As part of the preparations, Mr. Claus has provided an advance list of goodies that port personnel should expect. Rest assured, all food items come from approved locations, posing no threat to U.S. animal or plant health.

“It’s important that Gifts and Good Cheer, Inc. takes all the right steps and precautions to protect against the potential introduction of pests and diseases,” explained Mr. Claus. “I appreciate USDA’s assistance every year as we gear up for our big night.”

I’m so happy to see all the Ts crossed and Is dotted. It’s almost game time!